The following is one of the most frequently asked questions that I receive.

“What do you mean by Emotionally Challenging Decisions?”

In writing, especially a movie script, one specific moment leads to another. They build one upon the other. The brick-layer must see not only the whole building, but each brick that he lays in place must be done with great specificity. Only then can the building have structural integrity. In order to be specific, a writer must understand his/her characters at great depth.

We all have suffered primary wounds in childhood. The base wound of most people is the sense of emotional abandonment. For instance, physical or sexual abuse from those we trust is major emotional abandonment, which is the deeper wound.

This primary wound generates within each a desire to protect oneself from emotional pain. This desire manifests as reactive behavior that becomes our persona (psychological/social mask). We develop behaviors that give us a sense of safety.

This behavior takes as many forms as there are individuals, but they can fall into common categories, such as people-pleasing, rebelliousness, secretiveness, bullying, non-responsiveness, achievement-oriented, passive-aggressive, and even adopting the behaviors that were perpetrated upon the character. For instance, child sexual abuse comes from some deep lack (emotional abandonment) in the perpetrator.

There are specific steps between this emotional armor, its manifest behavior, and the decision to fulfill desires for something beyond its boundaries, such as the following:

• emotional lack as a result of the boundaries of the emotional armor;
• subconscious need;
• conscious desire;
• projection upon something to be, do, or have that one hopes will fulfill that desire;
• the refusal to pursue that projection for fear of emotional pain (physical sensation can be emotionally interpreted as negative);
• compelling Information that impels us to challenge our fear.

That succession of specific emotional states above creates an Emotionally Challenging Dilemma and leads one to make an EMOTIONALLY CHALLENGING DECISION.

An Emotionally Challenging Decision must send one into a transformational arena that is fraught with emotional dangers of which death or physical impairment is but one. This is not merely a decision. It must be a DECISION that takes one outside of his/her emotional armor where s/he must adopt new behaviors in order to succeed. Yet that success is not predetermined. The most frightening emotionally challenging decision is one that challenges one’s fundamental beliefs and ego construct.

I hope this clarifies my version of Emotionally Challenging Dilemmas and Decisions.